Ash Master

makotosgirl:

i heard kissing is good for u so how about we both try to stay healthy huh

amifutami:

what if every time u unzipped your pants it made the skype opening sound effect

bryanchoppertagteam:

magicalmanhattanproject:

if anyone ever calls you a slut just say ‘and yet i still won’t fuck you’ and then blow them a kiss as you saunter away because that’s the closest they’re ever gonna get to your magnificence, o smaug, chiefest and greatest of calamaties

Ladies real talk

deepthroatmom:

holycheesenrice:

andrejpejicjimmyvegafanfic:

*pounds on ur windshield as u hide inside ur car with doors locked*

seriously? are you kidding me? 
That is a CHILD. Have some fucking decency.

*pops your tires w/ my strong front teeth and goes for the kill*

deepthroatmom:

holycheesenrice:

andrejpejicjimmyvegafanfic:

*pounds on ur windshield as u hide inside ur car with doors locked*

seriously? are you kidding me? 

That is a CHILD. Have some fucking decency.

*pops your tires w/ my strong front teeth and goes for the kill*

gaymzee:

no mom i already have a job its called being hardcore